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Making it work

I am on the verge of getting married and as a result I have been an object of a deluge of advice. All meaningfully given but advice is as advice gets pretty much over my head. So from all the advice I received there is one that I especially liked and it came from (believe it or not) a mills and boons novel. This is the scene – the hero and heroine having confessed their love for each other wonders aloud what makes love work for some people and not for others. And the answer is this –

“I think each person has to make a commitment in his or her heart  to make a relationship work. Each time the commitment is threatened or when things get dull or hard or whatever then they have to decide to make the commitment again and again and again. And they should let the other person know they are still serious about making it work. They should be honest with each other about how they feel and what they need from each other even if it hurts at times.”

Obvious advice isn’t it but how true. If only we can remember this advice as we go ahead in our lives and relationships how much better would things be  🙂


December 15, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Of research, researches and researchers

A study published in the October issue of Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin to investigate nature’s influence on our personal values and behavior, a group of psychologists at the University of Rochester in New York had students look at slides of either natural landscapes or cityscapes. They also tested the effect of having plants in an office space.

In both experimental setups, students reported that they valued personal relationships and doing good for the community more highly after having seen a bit of green. And the more they immersed themselves in the natural experience, the less they cared about fame and fortune; they even became more generous with their money.

“These findings suggest,” the researchers wrote in their report, “that full contact with nature can have humanizing effects, fostering greater authenticity and connectedness.”

And Viewing cityscapes or hanging around a barren office made the students greedier and more selfish

Now I ask you all it takes is looking at greenery and we become better people. Now I don’t know the duration the students spent looking at the greenery but am assuming that you can’t spend too much looking either at the slides or the plants without getting disoriented. So after spending a minimum time you change so much???

Now I wonder isn’t it a little too convenient. I mean it is a well known opinion that nature gives peace and all that jazz so the students must have responded accordingly. I wonder if you can actually take “research” like that seriously. I mean I am a nature lover too. The sight of my native land (Kerala) fills me with inexplicable joy a sense of freshness etc etc. but I must confess that it never inspired the responses that these students have felt. So does that mean that I am dysfunctional or something. Well I know research is general what is true for one person need not be true for another so I conducted a mini research on the same topic. I went to my friends and students in the college and asked then what they felt when they saw greenery and n general nature inspired themes. They all (individually) said they felt at peace and good about themselves. I probed what about feelings towards others, you know an increased sense of bon – homie or love towards mankind, an inclination towards doing good for the community in general  they just shrugged their shoulders. I asked them if maybe looking at the city and pollution garbage disposal made them want to go and attach each other make them feel selfish greedy they just gave me a look oh God has Anisha lost it again.

The point I am trying to make is the authenticity of such researches. This was published in a well known magazine and maybe a lot of people would have read it and a couple od people might have used it for whatever academic purpose they might need. So a lot of people are being influenced by this. So I feel that before publishing research like that they must verify more than just the result also the methodology and if it makes sense. My opinion people what says you.

December 8, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Butter chicken and snobbery now

This maybe considered by some as a continuation of my blog on snobbery dated Nov 18 (https://takinlife1stepatime.wordpress.com/2008/11/18/coffee-and-snobbery/). It spoke about the costliest coffee in India Kopi Luwak which sells at Rs. 850 a cuppa. I have seen it all I said, seems it is not all for a while ago say about a month I read an article in an outlook magazine which talks about a chicken curry. Chicken Natwarlal that is being marketed through a website by a bunch of techies who run a website “www.anaarkali.in” that according to their description is the classiest chicken curry in the world. Well and for a mere 6000 rupees it is all yours. INR 6000 I kid you not. The process is very simple – You order on the Net, deposit the money in their bank, and 24 hours later they deliver a portion sufficient for two persons to your door.

These young enterprising young men decided to combine their love for butter chicken with some quick money making and as a result of 8 years of hard researching has come up with this mind numbing chicken curry. They are quite open about their ingredients. It is no exotic cat shit but good ole stuff from your friendly supermarket next door. No caviar no blanched oysters all you have is Godrej chicken, Hunt’s tomato paste, Lurpak butter, Taj Mahal saffron,  Nestle dahi, Filippo Berio olive oil, Evian mineral water, Dabur honey and Kraft cheese powder. Jesus Christ!!! That is all I have to say on the matter. Isn’t this stretching snobbery a little more than the accepted line?  They have a 40 point checkpoint to ensure that you always get the same taste everytime.

From their home page –
Anaarkali is the expression of our love and passion for butter chicken. Since the day we started, we have maintained that we felt we had made a butter chicken like no other, and wanted to share this taste with the world and in the course try to use this unique taste to do some good for the society.

Now I have nothing against spending money my parents will testify to the extent and ease with which I spend money but somewhere you must stop and think about it. No matter how much you are able to afford it you cannot – cannot spend money like this. Snobbery has got its place and at Rs. 6000 per plate I am very sorry to say it is ill afforded.

Images – http://www.anaarkali.in/Butter-Chicken/anaarkali-butter-chicken-gallery.html

December 5, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | 2 Comments